and it came..
and then it came, i got the job, i was accepted at Grand Hyatt Seattle.. i was waiting of it for months now and then it came.. the letter i've been longing to read for quite sometime now popped out of my e-mail.. how it felt? i couldnt understand.. i thought i was ready.. but somehow it felt that i wasnt.. my contract officially starts on november 1.. and right now i'm already processing my visa..
my dad wants me to leave a week before, but somethings holding me back.. it just felt like i'm leaving with an unfinished business.. there are just things that i couldnt help but wonder what if i was there.. and the fear of living alone creeps in, all my life I've never been two provinces apart from my loved ones.. even if I've lived alone for a few months now, i know that whenever i need them they're just there,a call or a text away.. but thinking that we'll be continents apart disheartens me.. just to be specific:
number one is my bestfriend's graduation, he has worked so hard for it. for so many years I was by his side helping him get through all the struggles he had to go through to get to that point.. and when we were on the verge of celebrating, i leave.. he graduates on november 8.. oh the agony!..
number two, the fear of living all alone, in the big city. my co-applicant mai has already left for UK. we were supposed to fly together and divide our costs but when she decided to pursue with UK all the burden of living alone was stuck in my head. how will i survive?
number three, the mere fact that i'm missing christmas this year.. that i'll be spending christmas alone as well as new year.. that My parents will be alone for this year. Who's gonna help them out? how will they celebrate the season together? how i wish I was here to celebrate with them.
these are just a few things. i know somehow i'm not ready.. but i know i have to be tough.. i have to prove myself's worth.. i have to be independent.. i have to be strong.. i can do this..
how much i hate goodbyes it has to happen. i just never expected this soon. i hope everything turns out fine. I know I have God and the prayers of my loved ones with me.
any day now i'll be in the mood to write my goodbye letter.. i just hope i could finish it in time
Wish me luck.. :)
definitely a fun-loving person, goody-two-shoes, wants to redecorate our kitchen, buy cooking stuff but apparantly happens only in dreams, adventure seeker, movie fanatic, approved lifesaver, a superhero, likes babies specifically her newborn nephew and niece, watch soaps from abs-cbn, still watches cartoons, literally laughs-out-loud, never been kikay since the day she went to high school, mistaken as lesbo, once addicted to computer games but now a homebody, one of the boys, aint scared of creepy crawlers, a loudmouth, reads only harry potter books and the rest is yet to be written..
